A work in progress.

This is the world I live in, where smut has replaced romance and uncouth blatancy has replaced mystery, but then again, wasn't "romance" just another name for control and deceit?
My hobby used to be people watching until they all became sort of a gray colour, washed out. Everything is so easy now a days and no need to tend to the details everything is always "just fine" and "that's good enough" along with a fix of different hormones brought upon in the easiest way possible. I'm no better, but I feel remorse for the loss of effort and abstract beauty and it's lonely looking for another one of my kind; someone that still has some colour in them and stands out, like the imperfect ones. I wish they could see it like I can, but they're too pre-occupied by perceived beauty bombarded at their eyes from anything but the mirror. Like the "nerdy" boy on the street that walks with no self-esteem and doesn't wear clothes that are quite fashionable, or the chubby girl with glasses on the bus holding her bag to her chest like a sort of comfort blanket. I wish they could see it, but then they might not be so beautiful anymore.

<3Dil.

At last we meet again.

A clear mind, blurred eyes and tarnished soul-
nothing more beautiful than the image in the mind.
Always dreaming and afraid to wake - reality is never what you think.
No such thing as perfection, just merely the illusion,
the scale of imperfection, and the mask you wear.
Inner and outer beauty - hardly ever both.
Do you wear your hardships on the outside, or keep them concealed?
Perhaps one day it will be revealed...
until then, keep hiding, and smiling.
Reading,
writing,
and escaping.

<3Dil.

Trembling Hand in the Rain

I found you, and I remember the bell tower strike midnight
There it was, the ghost in the mist and I was terrified as I looked upon the scars I adorn to this day.
Yet the cold breath you gave me did not chill,
It was the fresh breeze flowing through the hell in my mind.
Now tears flow once more, lukewarm tears to warm the icy heart throbbing in my chest.
That kind smile...
I saw it reflected as I blew back the dust, removed the spider webs.
Anxious and frantic with fear... or excitement?
There it was, the path.
Long lost forgotten path, I may now tread again.
And you, to show the way.
Excited, aroused, amused, emotions defrosted and alive once again.
Now seconds are eons until our hands warm each other's again
But, always travelling together with the same destination,
and always with your image guiding, warming, healing my soul.
My prince in the darkness.

<3Dil.

Moondrops.

Dear fate perched top the midnight hour
Voiceless whispers drift and ears do cower
Cruel summer season winds come haste;
O'er yonder where lull'd hearts can taste-
dew drops that hath caressed thy rosy apple cheek
Alas, Cheshire cat's vast wisdom- mind's eye doth seek

Enlightened doe eyes with knowledge gleamed bright;
Hidden 'neath emotions of young pup's plight
Thy prayers await eternity betwixt and between,
patience, let time go 'head alas seem too keen-
for something, nothing, infinity, oblivion- filled void
Boredom's fascination, destiny toyed

<3Dil.

Time to have a philosophical look at life again.
I'm stuck between two extremes in my current emotional and rational state of mind. How I look at it right now, life can be taken　one of two ways; Don't take things so seriously, I mean there's really no point in getting stressed about your path in life and your achievements and contributions because well, you're not going to get out alive now are you? No one does. So, just have fun and enjoy yourself. The other way I see it, is more of a pessimistic point of looking at it. What's the fucking point in anything? Why bother even getting out of my bed in the morning when I'm just going to get let down?
Either way, I can't help myself from laughing at people that get so over worked about making sure their life is on track. Getting good grades, getting into a good school, getting the good job, getting the good spouse, getting the good house, getting the good up-to-date technology. I guess, if that makes you happy, but most likely you just get stressed trying to keep on top of it all. Does it give your life meaning?
Riding the GO train at 8am in the morning just verifies my thoughts. looking at the sea of black, grey, and navy blue suits with their brief cases, fingers tapping away on their black, grey, or navy blue blackberry phones - The uniform of society. One thought very predominantly painted on their faces: "I hate my life.".
It's quite true that right now I hate the world, and humanity. But, tomorrow I'll probably love it. I enjoy these extremes, and makes me colourful, I think.
That is all. Actually, there's more things running through my head but I'm having trouble coherently expressing them. So, I'll leave it at that.

<3Dil.

Do crabs dream of puppy dogs?

Nice to meet you,
I’m a crab.
I scurry along the beach.
I don’t know to where.
But, off I go.
Sorry if I pinch you.
Don’t get too close, now.
I’m really quite sensitive, you know.
But after-all, I don’t want to be hurt.

The waves are too close.
In and out.
Back and forth.
But, isn’t that what it always is?
A big fucking rollercoaster?
But, I don’t rightly know, now do I?
I’m just a crab.
I don’t know what a rollercoaster is, nor the usage of "fuck".
All I know, is that these waves are coming really fast now.

This wild sea may sweep me away at any moment.
I’ll try not to lose my head, this time.
I could be safe and sound, with my legs in the ground.
What I’m trying to say is –
It could be good.
Real good.
Or, it could be bad.
Real bad.

A wave just hit me just then, but, I’m still standing.
Although, I don’t have much faith anymore.
It soon will pass,
it always does.
And then I go back to doing what I do best –
Just surviving.

But…

Then, I open my eyes.
I awake from the dream of the serene beach.
I just realized something-
turns out, I’m not a crab at all.
I’m just a loyal, trusting puppy dog,
and it’s time for my lunch.

(Okay, so I didn't use any fancy vocabulary, or really any style at all. But, I really like this one. A lot. For many reasons. :) )

<3Dil.

Untitled

My heart torn in two,
becoming a double-sided two-way mirror
The crystal ball reflects hate,
but still I travel toward inevitable fate,
and I just cannot ignore my heart's lonely screams

I'm a stupid, stupid girl,
and you didn't always treat me right,
but I knew when I needed someone,
you'd be there with a kiss on the cheek,
and the words:
"hang tough and everything will be alright."

I'm glad you're strong,
you combat my weak,
and I know it's wrong,
but if you called out to me
along the hallway to your bedroom I would creep

<3Dil.